Life skills

It’s been a day of assertions, confirmations, and things that make me sad.

You may think, if you read these posts at all, that I am a sad person. I am not. I just feel what people feel, and I feel it deeply. However, sometimes I don’t always understand how to process it. I guess you could say that I lack certain life skills.

Do you ever wonder where your mother or father was when you needed to learn certain life skills? Not the easy ones, like brushing your teeth, cleaning behind your ears, saying please, thank you, no thank you…I mean where were they when you needed to understand how to let go of someone you love, that acceptance isn’t always unconditional, that asserting your needs and desires is important because it shows that you love yourself, and yet it doesn’t feel as good as being loved by another. It’s an understandably lonely place.

As human animals, we can make choices using our hearts that can change when the mind tries to apply logic to the heart. Non-human animals, like birds, follow their hearts and do what comes naturally. They meet each other, they sing to one another, they fall in love, and they make a family. When their offspring are old enough they teach them life skills. How to find food, how to fly, how to say no (in bird of course), and how to say I love you by preening every little feather.

Yet birds are good at letting go, they understand that their children must learn to move on, so they give them the skills and the love they need to do that. Love is the foundation.

“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.”

-Kahlil Gibran

All beings are life’s longing for itself. Know that you cannot own anything or anyone, you can only love with great feeling.